Blessed are you...

I think I must be the most blessed man on earth! This past weekend Bev and I spent several days at our lakefront property in Upstate NY. I had some time to reflect on my life in general while I was away from the busyness of everyday life. The goodness of God toward me caused a deep sense of gratefulness to arise in my heart.

I have a better wife than I deserve. After almost 24 years of marriage, I love her more deeply than ever. We truly are best friends. Middle age has brought a depth to our marriage that carries into every aspect of our relationship - spiritual, emotional, and sexual. I am still in awe of her, of her beauty. (I'll just let it at that!)

My children bring me a great deal of joy. They are living in the purpose for which they were created. Justin is teaching and going to grad school at Clemson University. The academic world fits him perfectly at this stage in his life. He gets to do two things he loves deeply at Clemson - teach and learn.

After a season ending ACL injury last fall, Heidi is playing soccer again for Eastern University. Several times this season I have seen her play like never before. She is following the God-given desires of her heart at Eastern. Since this is her senior year, she will be student teaching this year. Her excitement about teaching is evident.

Karisa left for northern India two weeks after graduation for high school. While she is halfway around the world, we are still able to connect and talk on the phone. Her joy at being involved in the redemptive plan of God comes through in every conversation. Her own discovery of God's goodness causes Bev and I immeasurable joy.

Sarah is a senior in high school. She has much favor with her friends and is a quiet leader. Academically she excels. Relationally there are always a group of friends around her. Bev and I are Momma and Pappa Peach to her friends. What a privilege!

And then the other stuff...The dreams I relinquished to follow Jesus fifteen years ago, God is restoring. Not only are the dreams of the distant past being restored, the dreams of the more recent past are being fulfilled as well. For a time, God took me/us through a season when He seemed to be our enemy as He vigorously attacked what we had become. On the other side of the dark night of the soul, He has showered us with His goodness.

Because of the call of God on our lives, Bev and I are the object of frequent personal attacks. In light of the goodness of God toward us, these attacks are nothing more than bumps in the road of life, bumps that help in the humility department. Jesus told us that we would be blessed in the midst of personal attacks.

And so I am blessed...blessed beyond measure!

gambling, alcohol, church and emptiness

Last week I spent some time in the Midwest for continuing education with the company for which I work. Thursday evening a group of us decided to go out for the evening. Since I drink only moderately, I was the designated driver. I made some startling observations during my time on the town.

Our first stop was at a new casino just several miles from our hotel. We arrived at the door, declining the valet parking. We were greeted by well-dressed greeters that opened the doors and welcomed us inside. The interior decor was rather elaborate. The lobby area had absolutely beautiful and wonderfully comfortable leather sofas and easy chairs. I watched as people played various games of chance, slots, roulette, poker, and more. Every once in a while a voice announced a big winner.

I began to look closer, to observe those playing the games. I saw elderly people, people in wheelchairs, and several people on oxygen tanks. While not everyone playing the games were elderly, the vast majority appeared to be old enough to collect social security. As I looked closer, past the feverish tempo, I saw empty people. People whose eyes were tired as they pursued the high of winning.

We left the casino to go the the grand opening of a sports bar complex. The atmosphere there was much more relaxed. The pretty bartender shouted a greeting as we walked inside. As the evening progressed, more people showed up and mingled. A band (not a very good one!) played music. My co-workers began to hit the alcohol, drinking non stop. People began to gradually show the effects of the alcohol. I had several conversations with complete strangers, for that moment in time we were friends.

Once again, I began to see past the alcohol, the inferior music, and the laughter. I saw people desperately trying to have a good time. I saw middle aged women desperately trying to recapture their teen years again. Overweight middle aged men strutted like body builders. Alcohol causes people who can't dance think that they can. And yet, just like in the casino, there was a great deal of emptiness behind all the noise.

As I sat at the bar and watched people, I realized several things. First, I felt somewhat out of place. It didn't have anything to do with either gambling or drinking. Rather, the entire atmosphere in both places was set by people attempting to fill a deep void with external activities. At the casino, the hope for happiness hinged on winning the jackpot. At the bar, people slowly lost their inhibitions in search of a feeling of community and happiness.

The second realization struck most forcefully. I realized that I felt the same way that I frequently do when I am "in church" or with people who profess to be Christians. I am not sure that there is much difference between people in the bar or the casino and people in church on Sunday morning. We try some external activity hoping it will bring us happiness and fulfillment. We busy ourselves with activities and noise, yet in the end we feel empty. Unfortunately our emptiness drives us to drink more, gamble more, or engage in more religious activities.

True fulfillment comes not from winning the jackpot, losing ourselves in alcohol, or increasingly busy church activities. The fulfillment for which we yearn comes only as we are reconciled with God deep in our heart. We will never satisfy our God-yearning with any external activities.