the measure of a life

I got the call at a little before 3:30 AM last Sunday. My dad had breathed his last. My mom held his hand during those last moments. It was just the way she wanted it. The past 16 months were difficult, an emotional roller coaster ride as he battled with cancer.

It was on January 6, 1930 that a little red headed boy entered the world. For him, life proved difficult. He lost four family members within the first six years of life. The most crushing blow was the farm accident on a warm July afternoon the killed his father and fatally injured his older brother. He watched his father breath his last as he succumbed to his injuries that afternoon. His brother passed away on the day of his father's funeral. And so he grew up with a mother and two older sisters. Those events shaped him deeply, both positively and negatively.

He was a man of small stature, standing only 5-1. Yet he was a man of great stature as long as the orphan issues did not surface. Those issues were evident until the very end. On the other hand, the greatness of the man was evident even after the end.

His veiwing and funeral services were a testament to him being a man of great stature. The six and a half hours it took for the veiwing on Tuesday spoke of the caliber of life he lived. I heard stories about him that I had never known, things he had done for people that no one knew save himself and the person he touched. People came from all over the country to wait for several hours to pay their last respect.

He was a bit of a rebel, often thinking and acting outside the accepted norm for the conservative church world in which he lived. He was a visionary, trying new things that others refused to try. He succeeded in the business world against all odds. Yet the overriding theme in the stories I heard had nothing to do with any of these things. The stories had to do with personal touch, acceptance, and love.

I watched grown men weep as they stood by his casket. He was like a brother...he was like a father...he was always my favorite uncle..

The measure of a life can be seen, not in the things we accumulate or in the success we may have. No, it is found in the realm of the heart, in the life of men and women that experienced a bit of God's character through the attitudes and actions of a flawed man.

you're not crazy

As I talk with those who have chosen to enter the Kingdom of God, one reoccurring question invariably arises. "Am I going crazy?"

The problem with God is that He contradicts so much of our conventional wisdom. The greatest battle is never between Satan and the believer. No, the greatest of all battles rages between the believer and God. "There is a way that seems right to man" - words from the writer of Proverbs. Yet that way completely contradicts the way of God; it leads to death. Jesus wrestled with the Father in his most deep moment - "let this cup pass from me". 

When one enters the realm of God, suddenly the pillars of so many of our beliefs are clearly seen for what they are - "There is a way that seems right to man". To somehow reject those foundational teachings that have been given to us feels like blasphemy. Yet in the kingdom of God, the source of those teachings becomes clear.

The resulting inner wrestling leaves us with the question - "Am I crazy?"

To the saint who has entered the Kingdom of God - I want to reassure you. You are not crazy! 

do you think your way is right?

In the past week, several things stirred my "thinker". Sarah, our youngest daughter, informed Bev that she was voted a captain this year for the Grove City College women's soccer team. This has been a tough year for her. In April during spring practice season, while on a fast break toward the goal, her knee suddenly collapsed. Medical examination confirmed her worst fear - she suffered a torn ACL. Her goal is to be able to play in at least one game in this her senior season.

In spite of her inability to be on the field, her teammates voted her as a captain this season. Her leadership capabilities caused me to reflect on our children. They are all young adults. All exhibit a great deal of leadership abilities.

The second thing that stirred my thought process was a comment by a politician. "Leaders do not follow polls, leaders change polls." The truth of this comment is reflected in the lives of the kids. Each one of them changes the atmosphere in their sphere. (This was true of Jesus as well. Since Christ should be formed in us, it makes sense that we have the same impact on those around us as He did).

As I pondered the children's leadership gifts, words from the past echoed in my mind. Frequently people would ask us for parenting advice. Perhaps more accurately, people asked us to affirm what they were doing even if their parenting was a dismal failure. More than once when disagreeing with our advice, parents would pose the following question - so do you think that your way is right? (What a stupid question! Uh...no I am sure I am doing the wrong thing with my kids but I am going to do the wrong thing anyway. Duh!)

I never saw it as parenting my way. We simply looked at the Bible and put into practice the wise counsel we discovered in its pages. I have discovered that in the issues of life, the truth found in the scriptures always works when applied to daily living. It really does not matter whether I agree with the scripture or not. It is not about my way versus another way. It is about God's way.

Do I beleive that my way of parenting was/is right? Absolutely! I like the results!        

disillusionment

Since being out of the "church bubble", I have begun to see some things clearly. What I see is the source of much disillusionment in me.  My business puts me in contact with people from many walks of life. Unlike when I was pastoring a church, I usually see the "real person". When a pastor,  people usually related to me in a manner that they hoped would impress me with their spirituality.

Now it is different; herein lies that disillusionment. People have no need to attempt to appear spiritual in my presence. Unfortunately I see very little evidence of transformation in the lives of those who would call themselves "Christians". In fact I recently  remarked to Beverly that it is frequently easier to deal with the pagans than the "Christians".

Jesus complimented Nathaniel as a man "in whom is no guile". There was no deceit in Nathaniel. What you saw was what was. Far to many Christians I meet are full of guile. They may be able to quote scripture or to recite their many activities in their church. Yet they are some of the most difficult persons with which to do business.

For me, there is not much that is more offensive than people who hide their self-centered sinfulness behind a verneer of religiousity.

wedding surpise

Yesterday was Becca's wedding. Her story is one of redemption, of healing, of the reality of the gospel. As her uncle, I rejoiced with her in the joy of her story.

I must admit that I was not particularly excited about the thought of sitting through the monotonous recital of platitudes that are a staple of a conservative Mennonite wedding. I scanned the program quickly to see if I could get a sense of the length of the service. It was the usual. One preacher gave opening remarks. One had a devotional; another had a meditation.

As the service started, I was relieved when the first two speakers were relatively painless. However, the biggie is the meditation. I had heard of Abner although I never heard him speak. The only thing I knew about him was that many years ago he started a very conservative, strict church.

Abner started speaking and almost immediately I was captured by his words. They were truth that resonated deep in my spirit. He quickly drew me into the scriptures and his story. Truly Christ has been formed in this man. Half an hour passed quickly.

At the reception I sat across the table from my Dad. I mentioned Abner's words and the fact that his preaching was worth  the price of admission. I also mentioned that I was a bit surprised. I know what kind of people attend the church he started. My dad laughed a bit and then said, "Abner is no longer in that church...they kicked him out for being too radical!"

Kicked him out for being too radical - those words have been bouncing around in my mind ever since. It was not "they kicked him out for heresy" or "they kicked him out for some sin". No...they kicked him out for being too radical.

And so it is with those whose heart has been transformed by the formation of Christ. They frequently are too radical for the confines of what we call church. Jesus was too radical for the religious establishment of his day. Stuffy religious folk with a vested interest in seeing the preservation of their religious systems still kick Jesus out of their midst. He is too dangerous to tolerate.  

cheerio, shadows, and the formation of Christ

It was a rough morning for Cheerio. Cheerio is a two year old red holstein in our herd. For some reason, this morning she noticed some vague shadows on the wall. Every movement of the shadows precipitated another round of nervousness. Had she not been tied in her stall, she would have fled the barn.

So what does all this have to do with the formation of Christ? Perhaps the key to understanding the connection has to do with the "where" of the formation of Christ. In you...until Christ is formed in you..

The transformation resulting from the formation of Christ occurs deep within us. As Christ becomes more perfectly formed within us, our response to our circumstances begins to change as well. The shadows on the wall that so frightened us no longer dictate our actions. We have a core, a center that guides us past the shadows.

...your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion... To the resurrected Christian, our enemy is powerless. His only recourse is to roar, to create shadows to frighten us.

Recently I have noticed how many people have no center. The shadows frighten and paralyze them. Circumstances overwhelm them. It seems to be impossible for them to comprehend the truth that can set them free. Satan roars and they cower in fear. In the midst of difficulty they have no reference point, no ability to discern truth.

...he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord... From where comes the doubt? Not from the deep places of the inner man transformed by the formation of Christ. They come from without, desiring to take residence in the soulish level of our emotional psyche. They are shadows on the wall driving us to irrational actions that lead to bondage.

I'm sure that later today, Cheerio will be fine. By the time the cows leave the barn for the grassy pasture this evening, she will have long forgotten the shadows. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the person without Christ formed in their inner being.
  

more thoughts on formation and transformation

As Christ is formed within us, we undergo a total transformation. It is not an instantaneous glorious event that sweeps us off our feet and transforms us in a moment. No - it is a process and a rather arduous and lengthy process. In the midst of the process, we frequently feel so alone, so dark. The coccoon of our transformation closes tightly in on us, suffocating us beyond description.

We cry out - let this cup pass from me! In spite of our cries, the process continues. While the external desire for release from the process spills from our lips, somewhere deep within our spirit we respond with - not my will yours be done. And the it continues...

There does come a day, however, when the coccoon of transformation begins to be less suffocating. Bit by bit we emerge. In some ways, we are completely unaware of what has just occured in us. Yet everything is differant now.

As Christ is formed in us, we find ourselves far outside of the accepted parameters of the religious institutions of the day. We don't try to move outside the box, we don't even think about the box. We simply have the mind of Christ. His thoughts are our thoughts, His priorities are our priorities. We no longer try to love as Christ loved, we love as Christ loved without trying. Striving to do the right thing no longer compels us, Christ compels us. The expectations of people do not determine our course of life, the desires of the Father motivate us. We discover freedom, freedom from the bondage of expectations. 

That freedom now puts us in direct conflict with our prevailing religious systems. Initially we don't realize the conflict but at some point it happens. We are enjoying freedom and life as Christ is lived through us and then something occurs that highlights the change that has taken place within us. We eat with unwashed hands; we pick grain on the Sabbath. We heal at the improper time and place. And the attacks start...

At first we are surprised; taken aback. Shouldn't all who name the name of Christ be supportive of the work of Christ? Then the reality begins to set in - not all who name the name of Christ have submitted to the formation of Christ within them. As Christ is more fully formed in us, it reveals the lack of the formation of Christ within them. As a result, they feel the need to attack. 

The words of Jesus ring true - Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.

Christ formed

My little children, for whom I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you...

For the past several weeks, I have been reflecting on the formation of Christ within us. The early mornings and late nights spent in the barn with the cows give a great deal of time to ponder the words of Paul. While we have heard plenty of teaching about who we are in Christ, very little is said about who Christ is within us. The formation of Christ within us transforms us.

Perhaps the key to the formation of Christ has to do with the "where of the formation". Until Christ is formed in you... in you...in you. It seems to me that most of what passes for Christianity has less to do with the inner person and more to do with external actions.

Several articles in the religion section of the local paper illustrate this. A headline proclaimed - Sharing one's faith is hard but essential. The article went on to promote an event where people could learn how to share their faith. Huh?? Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. In other words what is in the heart comes out in our words. The only way it can be difficult to share one's faith is if that faith is an external issue, divorced from the heart.

In a more recent article, the writer interviewed people who were involved with building and giving away small crosses that could be planted in a front yard where the could be seen. One gentleman stated that we have to let people know that we are Christians. Huh?? Putting a small white cross in my yard is how people will know I am a Christian?? The pear tree outside our house never has to make any kind of declarations about being a pear tree. It has to do nothing but be; be what it was created to be.

The formation of Christ is not an external event. One cannot go to a formation of Christ seminar and learn how to have Christ formed in us. The only thing we can do is to allow the formation process to occur.

I do know that it is a painful process, painful for us as well as for those close to us. Paul likened the formation of Christ in those at Galatia to the pain of childbirth for him. Perhaps the pain is one reason that we shy away from allowing the process to occur. We fear the fellowship of suffering with Jesus. We attempt to avoid pain at all cost. Yet it is only in the crucible that Christ becomes formed within us.  

hidden ones

Elijah cried out to God in the place of his feeling alone. The forces of the enemy seemed to have overtaken God's people completely. He felt alone, so alone, in his zeal for the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. God's people had turned away to worship another, a religious system that was devoid of godliness. Not only had they turned away from the I AM, they zealously sought to destroy those who spoke His words. There seemed to be no one who sought God.

In response to the cry of Elijah, Jehovah spoke. He gave a mandate to Elijah, three things he must do. Along with the instructions God also informed Elijah that while he felt so alone, there were others. Seven thousand had not yeilded to the seductiveness of the prevailing religious system. Seven thousand were hidden away, the yeast that could seed revival.

Some of you feel alone...so alone. Be encouraged, there are many like you who have been hidden away. You may not see them, but they are there.  

our yearning for bondage

Now it happened in the process of time that the king of Egypt died. Then the children of Israel groaned because of the bondage, and they cried out; and their cry came up to God because of the bondage. So God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God acknowledged them.
   - Exodus 2:23-25

So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, "If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness! So they said to one another, “Let us select a leader and return to Egypt.”
   - Numbers 14:1-4

What a bizarre thought  - That we would yearn to be in bondage! Not us...not me...no way!

However our words, all the wonderful songs we sing about freedom, the declarations we make, all contradict our actions.

While in bondage, we come to trust the things that hold us. They become our friend, our companions that simplify our life. Bondage makes daily life definable. It creates boundries that cannot be crossed. Clear lines of definition create a sense of safety. We no longer need the still small voice of God within. And anyway...that still small voice feels far to nebulous to us.

You see, it is a dangerous thing to be free. Suddenly the familiar walls no longer surround us. We feel exposed, naked, and vulnerable. The only guidance we receive comes from the still small voice of Holy Spirit. We are face with insurmountable obstacles. Suddenly the familiarity of our former bondage beckons us. We rationalize that it really was not so bad, being controlled. In fact it certainly feels much more safe than freedom.

"And so... "A dog returns to his vomit" and, "a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire."

God....and theology

A friend stops at the barn to chat from time to time. He is an older gentleman and I enjoy his perspective on life. Our converstations cover a wide range of topics - weather, hunting, sex, God, local events, farming, and life in general. He is what most church people would class as a heathen. Church holds no interest for him, through the years he has seen too much.

When our conversations turn toward God, I am invariably amazed at his grasp and understanding of God and who He is. How can that be? A man outside the framework of organized religion perhaps understanding God better than those who are well educated in the scriptures?

As I reflected on our conversations, my mind wandered through the pages of scriptures, pausing at two similar examples in the life of Jesus. A gentile woman, one who would have been despised by those within the confines of the accepted religious framework, experienced the fulness of Jesus' ministry. A Roman Centurian, a member of the evil occupying military force, caused Jesus to marvel at the depth of his faith. His was a faith so great that Jesus proclaimed that He found no greater faith in all of God's chosen people.

Where did these two unlikely individuals receive their understanding of God and God With Us? What has shaped the theology of my friend in a manner that allows him to see God for who He really is? It was probably not in a classroom or at the feet of a noted scholar. Might it be that being created in the image of God allows us to clearly see Him for who He really is?

And might it be that the theology we have been given from our religious traditions actually clouds our vision? I am convinced that most of our theological tenets are shaped more by our intellectual endeavors than by the scriptures. We believe something and then search the scriptures to find supporting evidence that we can cite in putting forth our beliefs. The Pharisees of Jesus' day were versed in scripture and theology. Yet they largely missed the work of God in their midst.

Might it be that our intellectual theology framework disconnects us from the image of God within us in a manner that causes us to miss Him completely?

the voice of a curse

Two weeks ago Bev and I, along with her parents, made a trip to Clemson SC for a special graduation ceremony. After much hard work, Justin graduated from Clemson University with his PhD. An opportunity with a Danish University caused him to speed up this graduate work. Unfortunately, the Danish opportunity did not fully develop so he will stay at Clemson for the next semester working as a guest lecturer.

At the graduation ceremony, Justin mentioned that Dr. Taylor wanted to meet Bev and I. We discovered that Dr. Taylor was the head of the math department at Clemson. Immediately after the ceremony, Justin introduced us to him. We found Dr. Taylor to be an engaging gentleman, the epitome of a "southern gentleman". In our conversation converstation he expressed a bit of disappointment that the opportunity in Denmark never fully evolved for Justin. However, he was also quick to express delight that in the upcoming semester Justin would be part of the Clemson faculty. His exact words to me were "Justin is a very good teacher".

I had lots of time to ponder his words on the 500 mile trip back to Pennsylvania. My thoughts wandered back to a summer morning a number of years ago. I sat across the table from a man who had been instrumental in Justin's spiritual formation. At the time, I was concerned for my friend. I sensed him disconnecting from God. Instead of oneness with his Creator, he was choosing to find worth and fulfillment in the seduction of ministry.

We talked about Justin that morning. I mentioned that Justin wanted to teach either at the high school or college level. I was stunned beyond words when he laughed sarcastically at the mention of Justin teaching. In his opinion Justin was too excitable to teach well. I could  not believe the words I was hearing. Words directly from the enemy, words that cursed Justin and his God-given destiny and dreams. I was dumbfounded. How could a person who professed to be interested in bringing people to the place of their God-given destiny speak so negatively of Justin's heart? At that point I knew that my friend had completely disconnected from God.

As these thoughts swirled through my mind, the curse words falling empty against the voice of God heard through Dr. Taylor, two words came to mind for the voice of the enemy and the speaker of those words  - F**k you!