I'll try

The greatest battle in this life is not a struggle between God and the devil but a battle between myself and God. Everything within me wants to live independently of God, to make my own decisions, to determine my own version of right and wrong. The self-god attempts assert itself, creating a god in our own image.

I've recently noticed one of the manifestations of the self-god recently in conversations with people. A common phrase I hear is "I'll try..." I'll try to forgive. I'll try to love. I'll try respect. The starting point of "I'll try" is self.

Notice that scripture never tells us to try to love or to forgive. The expectation of God is that we love, that we forgive. Now I realize that we frequently feel like God demands the impossible and truly it is impossible to love from a center of self. Yet in the expectation of the impossible we become faced with our inability to to do the expected. In that place of inability, we can either draw close to God and allow Him to work the impossible into us or we can try to do the impossible in our own strength.

Unfortunately we do not possess the wherewithal to be what God expects. Quit trying and allow Him to transform you!

demonization, shunning and an apology

Perhaps the greatest learning opportunities are not found in a school, but rather in the observation of the world around us. I have learned more by keeping my eyes and ears open and allowing the Holy Spirit to teach me in whatever circumstance I find myself. Additionally, much can be learned from the experiences of others, in hearing their story.

One of the observations I have made over the past several years has to do with religion and religious mindsets. Unfortunately, religion in general frequently goes hand in hand with control. Just like in Jesus day, religious people today use control techniques to attempt to keep people (and God) within the accepted boundaries.

The stories of numerous people align with my own experience in this. When one chooses to step outside the institutionally accepted parameters to follow Jesus, almost immediately an uproar ensues. If one does not quickly step back into line, they will be demonized by the religious crowd. That demonization will justify all sorts of ungodly behavior by the religious even though the demonization is not even based on fact. If none of this works to bring a person in line, then they are shunned. Religious people will warn others not to associate with the "deceived" person. They will refuse to interact in a healthy way.

I have discovered the church world to be much more savage than the business world. Very good people began to act out of character as their religious paradigms are threatened. Nice, gentle people will spew venom toward the one perceived as a threat; they would be aghast if they really saw how they were acting. In their protection of a religious system, they engage (and feel justified in doing so) in behaviors that are far from godly.

All this grieves my heart. Malachi speaks of the hearts of the fathers being turned toward the children and vice versa. When the fathers (leaders in the church) begin to control and manipulate people, then a curse comes on the land. If you have been wounded by controlling religious leaders attempting to make you conform to their perspective of God, I apologize to you. If you have been shunned by "Christians" because you think outside of the box, I apologize to you. What was done to you was wrong. God forgive us!

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Blessed are you...

I think I must be the most blessed man on earth! This past weekend Bev and I spent several days at our lakefront property in Upstate NY. I had some time to reflect on my life in general while I was away from the busyness of everyday life. The goodness of God toward me caused a deep sense of gratefulness to arise in my heart.

I have a better wife than I deserve. After almost 24 years of marriage, I love her more deeply than ever. We truly are best friends. Middle age has brought a depth to our marriage that carries into every aspect of our relationship - spiritual, emotional, and sexual. I am still in awe of her, of her beauty. (I'll just let it at that!)

My children bring me a great deal of joy. They are living in the purpose for which they were created. Justin is teaching and going to grad school at Clemson University. The academic world fits him perfectly at this stage in his life. He gets to do two things he loves deeply at Clemson - teach and learn.

After a season ending ACL injury last fall, Heidi is playing soccer again for Eastern University. Several times this season I have seen her play like never before. She is following the God-given desires of her heart at Eastern. Since this is her senior year, she will be student teaching this year. Her excitement about teaching is evident.

Karisa left for northern India two weeks after graduation for high school. While she is halfway around the world, we are still able to connect and talk on the phone. Her joy at being involved in the redemptive plan of God comes through in every conversation. Her own discovery of God's goodness causes Bev and I immeasurable joy.

Sarah is a senior in high school. She has much favor with her friends and is a quiet leader. Academically she excels. Relationally there are always a group of friends around her. Bev and I are Momma and Pappa Peach to her friends. What a privilege!

And then the other stuff...The dreams I relinquished to follow Jesus fifteen years ago, God is restoring. Not only are the dreams of the distant past being restored, the dreams of the more recent past are being fulfilled as well. For a time, God took me/us through a season when He seemed to be our enemy as He vigorously attacked what we had become. On the other side of the dark night of the soul, He has showered us with His goodness.

Because of the call of God on our lives, Bev and I are the object of frequent personal attacks. In light of the goodness of God toward us, these attacks are nothing more than bumps in the road of life, bumps that help in the humility department. Jesus told us that we would be blessed in the midst of personal attacks.

And so I am blessed...blessed beyond measure!

gambling, alcohol, church and emptiness

Last week I spent some time in the Midwest for continuing education with the company for which I work. Thursday evening a group of us decided to go out for the evening. Since I drink only moderately, I was the designated driver. I made some startling observations during my time on the town.

Our first stop was at a new casino just several miles from our hotel. We arrived at the door, declining the valet parking. We were greeted by well-dressed greeters that opened the doors and welcomed us inside. The interior decor was rather elaborate. The lobby area had absolutely beautiful and wonderfully comfortable leather sofas and easy chairs. I watched as people played various games of chance, slots, roulette, poker, and more. Every once in a while a voice announced a big winner.

I began to look closer, to observe those playing the games. I saw elderly people, people in wheelchairs, and several people on oxygen tanks. While not everyone playing the games were elderly, the vast majority appeared to be old enough to collect social security. As I looked closer, past the feverish tempo, I saw empty people. People whose eyes were tired as they pursued the high of winning.

We left the casino to go the the grand opening of a sports bar complex. The atmosphere there was much more relaxed. The pretty bartender shouted a greeting as we walked inside. As the evening progressed, more people showed up and mingled. A band (not a very good one!) played music. My co-workers began to hit the alcohol, drinking non stop. People began to gradually show the effects of the alcohol. I had several conversations with complete strangers, for that moment in time we were friends.

Once again, I began to see past the alcohol, the inferior music, and the laughter. I saw people desperately trying to have a good time. I saw middle aged women desperately trying to recapture their teen years again. Overweight middle aged men strutted like body builders. Alcohol causes people who can't dance think that they can. And yet, just like in the casino, there was a great deal of emptiness behind all the noise.

As I sat at the bar and watched people, I realized several things. First, I felt somewhat out of place. It didn't have anything to do with either gambling or drinking. Rather, the entire atmosphere in both places was set by people attempting to fill a deep void with external activities. At the casino, the hope for happiness hinged on winning the jackpot. At the bar, people slowly lost their inhibitions in search of a feeling of community and happiness.

The second realization struck most forcefully. I realized that I felt the same way that I frequently do when I am "in church" or with people who profess to be Christians. I am not sure that there is much difference between people in the bar or the casino and people in church on Sunday morning. We try some external activity hoping it will bring us happiness and fulfillment. We busy ourselves with activities and noise, yet in the end we feel empty. Unfortunately our emptiness drives us to drink more, gamble more, or engage in more religious activities.

True fulfillment comes not from winning the jackpot, losing ourselves in alcohol, or increasingly busy church activities. The fulfillment for which we yearn comes only as we are reconciled with God deep in our heart. We will never satisfy our God-yearning with any external activities.

The Blessing of Exposure

For several years, I have been sensing that we are entering a time of exposure. God is revealing the things that "truly are". It will become increasingly hard to hide ungodly attitudes, actions, and mindsets. A friend of mine told me recently that to her it seems like God is poking and prodding people until the "ugly" manifests. While initially it is frightening when confronted with our ugliness, the revelation of the sin allows for the healing power of God to transform us (if we allow it).

This past week, an increasingly familiar scenario occurred. For the past months there has been a great deal of hype about Todd Bentley and what was happening in Lakeland. Unfortunately we are discovering some "rot" in the life of Todd. Any time this kind of revelation surfaces, it creates a great deal of turmoil. Those who held Todd in too high regard are devastated. Those who for one reason or another disliked Todd feel vindicated. (Unfortunately neither attitude comes from the heart of God).

Several weeks ago, I woke up with the words "there is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed" in my spirit. I realized that these were the words of Jesus from Luke 12:

“Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops.

Later in the morning as I was pondering what I heard earlier, I again heard the following phrase in my spirit: "fall on the rock". Once again I immediately recognized the words of Jesus from Luke 10:

Then He looked at them and said, “what then is this that is written: The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone’? Whoever falls on that stone will be broken; but on whomever it falls, it will grind him to powder.”

The inescapable fact of exposure leads to the dilemma of a response to that which is being exposed. For those to whom the exposure leads to a brokenness, abundant life results. For those to whom exposure leads to an attempt to conceal that which God exposes, destruction results. If Todd Bentley embraces the exposure of the faults and falls on Jesus, he can expect healing and life. However, if he attempts to minimize the faults, destruction will find him.

In my own life, recently God exposed a deeper weakness. The exposure demolishes any kind of self-righteousness and any measure of self-goodness. Once again I am required to cry out to Jesus for His grace to face my ugliness. My awareness of my susceptibility to ungodly thought patterns and actions has deepened. On the other hand, my awareness of the goodness of God has deepened as well. As I throw myself on the Rock, as I am broken, I discover life.

In observing what is happening in the world around me I notice another phenomena. I see people who are experiencing God's exposure. Instead of embracing the work of God, they continue in the attempts to hide from the exposure. At best, they minimize the work of God by pointing to their "goodness". At worst, they resist the work of God by calling it the work of the enemy. Ultimately, the Rock will fall on them and they will be crushed by Him.

From personal experience, I can say that this time of exposure is a blessing. It allows me to be in a position to truly experience the redemptive power of God. While many will blame the enemy for Todd Bentley's faults, I believe this is not the work of the enemy. Rather, I believe that this is the work of God revealing what "really is" so that an opportunity for healing can manifest.

The demonization of Jesus (and those who follow Him)

I was reading in John 8 today. Jesus is engaging with the Pharisees, causing them to face the reality of their godlessness. As the conversation progressed, they became increasing vicious in their attacks on Him. In the ongoing dialogue, there is a statement that reveals at least one contributing factor to their anger. Verse 30 sums up what was happening with the following words - As He spoke these words, many believed in Him.

I believe that the Pharisees were fully aware that their religious control over people was being threatened. For years, in spite of differing views, the religious sects of the day played by the same rules. They were more interested in protecting their systems and theology than they were about the restoration of people. As long as all the different groups played by the same set of rules, the religious equilibrium was stable.

However, the entrance of Jesus on the scene upset the status quo. His words and actions indicated that God cared more for people than for the established religious systems. He healed on the Sabbath. He interacted deeply with unclean sinners. He touched the untouchable. And now people were drawn to Him. His words and actions gave them hope. Furthermore, Jesus' words revealed the condition of the Pharisee's heart. Their self-god was being exposed.

As the exposure increased, so did the vicious nature of the attacks. The Pharisees implied that they were better than Him because they were not born in fornication. (As if Jesus could have done anything about the circumstances surounding His birth!) As their anger increased, they continued to attack Jesus. They accused Him of being a Samaritan, of being demon possessed.
Finally, their rage culminated in an effort to kill Him.

A hallmark of people following the self-god is this kind of demonization. The self-god operates behind a facade of godliness. When the presence of God exposes the hypocrisy, the one through whom the presence of God is manifest must be demonized. Demonization of the person justifies the feelings of superioirity and rage. Ultimately it opens the door for all kinds of ungodly actions toward people.

Jesus said that a servant is not greater than His master. Those who follow Him should expect the same kind of treatment from the modern protectors of the religious systems.

How Big is Your God?

Lately I’ve been thinking a good deal about our perception of God. More specifically, I’ve been thinking about the way we make God into our image (or perhaps make a god in our image). Now, none of us would ever admit to making God in our image. However, our perception about the greatness of God is usually limited to our own abilities. In other words we limit our picture of God to what we can or cannot do ourselves.

Let me illustrate – I frequent an Internet forum that has the stated purpose of seeing revival break out. However, instead of talking about revival, most posts deal with the dangers of deception. Posters obsess with who is deceived and who is okay in the church world. Continual warnings are posted about various deceptions.

Why the obsession with deception? I believe it has to do with people’s perspective of God. They do not believe that God is greater than any deception. Therefore, deception must be feared. They doubt God’s ability to reveal deception; therefore they must take matters in their own hands. They have to be very careful lest some deception from another person “gets on them”.

Somehow we inherently believe that world or deceptions are greater than the God in us. We are afraid that the “world” will taint us. If we really understood the nature of God, we would expect the God in us to “taint” the world. We would expect the God in us to expose deception. Light is greater than darkness, life is greater than death.

I have a friend who talked with her church leaders about a desire to penetrate society. She was quickly warned about the dangers of associating with the world. She was told that it takes a mature Christian to withstand the allure of the world. Huh? The God in my friend is the same God that dwells in mature Christians. God is able to keep her fully.

The problem with the advice my friend received was that it minimized God. I believe that subconsciously, her leaders had a small view of God. Their statements reveal that they hold to a view that the world is more powerful than God.

How big is your God? Is He capable of handling the things you face? Is He capable of getting you back on track if you get lost? Do you expect Him to affect those around you in a powerful way?