the ring again

I wrote this a number of years ago and have posted it earlier. However it seems to fit with the discussion here so I will post it again.

Now they were on the road, going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus was going before them; and they were amazed. And as they followed they were afraid. Then He took the twelve aside again and began to tell them the things that would happen to Him: “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and to the scribes; and they will condemn Him to death and deliver Him to the Gentiles; and they will mock Him, and scourge Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him. And the third day He will rise again.” (Mark 10:32-34)

From my leadership experience, I have discerned a startling truth – People will willingly follow a good leader almost anywhere except into the valley of the shadow of death. God’s pattern of leadership as revealed in Jesus requires leaders to embrace what feels like a downward spiral into the shadows, into a place where the glory of leadership dissipates completely.

Jesus’ disciples were astounded that He would choose to travel to Jerusalem in the face of imminent danger. His steady movement toward a place of apparent death struck fear to their hearts. Their consternation with Jesus’ travel plans blinded them to see through the valley of the shadow of death to the glorious reality of the resurrection.

Jesus’ disciples had dreams of Jesus being a king like David. In their minds, not only was Jesus destined to be a king, but they were poised to have leading roles in this emerging glorious kingdom. Therefore, Jesus’ journey into the shadow lands of death caused a great deal of consternation in them. They needed Him to establish a kingdom, to be the monarch of the new Jewish superpower.

In the context of Jesus’ journey into impending death, in the context of their fear, James and John came to Jesus asking for positions of power in the empire that they were certain that Jesus would establish. (Read Mark 10:35-37). It was as if they were reminding Jesus that He had a responsibility to establish the new Jewish superpower.

Jesus’ experience with His disciples mirrors much of my own experience. People will follow a leader as long as the leader is building something magnificent. They deeply desire to be a part of something grandiose.

For leaders seeking validation from the people they lead, it becomes easy to never make the journey into the valley of the shadow of death due to the expectations of those being led. To not complete the leadership journey, however, will negate the leader from engaging with God’s pattern for leadership. Consequently the Kingdom of God is never established through that leader.

It is important to note that Jesus’ own journey into the shadow lands was the prelude to resurrection power. God was establishing His kingdom through Jesus. Even so today – leaders must journey to the shadow lands of death to discover a new and fresh authority and life.

From my own experience I can tell you that any leader who makes the journey into death and the cross will probably not be popular. Throughout the years of leading and being a catalyst in the emergence of God’s Kingdom on earth, I have experienced the resistance that comes from the demonic hordes seeking to destroy the new things God was bringing forth. However, the greatest resistance I have received on my walk with God occurred when I intentionally followed God into the valley of the shadow of death.

Many of the people I have led consistently applied pressure on me to abandon the journey into “nothingness” regardless how much I tried communicate with them the power (and the Jesus pattern) of the journey into “nothingness”. Beyond the pressure from people, my own desire for significance was compounded by the voices of the enemy encouraging me to choose a less threatening path to resurrection life. (Which, incidentally, does not exist).

For the past number of years, the gentle whisper of heaven, the voice of the Father, has invited me to choose the way of the valley of the shadow of death, to enter a place that seems and feels insignificant. I have chosen to resolutely heed the invitation, knowing that in all likelihood, I would find myself not on some grandiose stage, but in the shadows of the world and the church.

However, I have found some diamonds in the place of darkness. In the shadow lands I have found that the barrier between heaven and earth are minimal. In the shadow lands, I experience the kiss of the Father for an extended period. His kiss has sustained me in my resolution to press ahead. In the shadow lands, I discover God as my friend. I become acutely aware of the invitation to participate with Him in the redemption of creation.

Press on to Jerusalem; it is the way of God. Purpose to enter the valley of the shadow of death as God invites you to do so. To grasp at our dreams of greatness will cause us to miss the point, to miss resurrection life.

the ring

I know...I haven't written anything in a while. However, just because I haven't been writing doesn't mean that I haven't been pondering things. This past weekend I was working outside for a bit in NY putting clear coat on the cabin logs. Since it was a rather mindless task, I had ample opportunity to reflect.

I do not watch many movies, however, the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy caught my attention several years ago. On the chance that you have not watched the movies, the storyline centers on a gold ring that gave the bearer of it unusual power. Unfortunately the power in the ring also destroyed anyone who used it to advance a selfish agenda. The whole story chronicles the journey of Frodo (an insignificant hobbit) returning the ring to the place where it was created so it could be destroyed. The destructive power of the ring was uncanny. It destroyed relationships, it destroyed people, its seductive power called out to those who desired power and the personal gain to be achieved from that power. Rational thought became a victim of its allure.

While the story is purely fiction, I believe it is also a powerful allegory. Today we have our own ring, our own means for grasping at power. For the past 20 years I have been involved in various leadership capacities in what I would call the institutional church. Far to frequently, the institutional church has become our "ring". It offers power, significance, and validation. Yet the personal destruction wreaked by the system of the institutional church is staggering.

My heart breaks with the frequent stories of people who speak to Bev and I about their pain; pain inflicted by leaders in the IC who used their position selfishly. We (Bev and I) recently had a discussion about the sources of pain in our own life; from where did it come and why. Without a doubt, the greatest source (and if I may add - by a wide margin) of pain in our personal lives has come from the IC.

Far too frequently, I have seen the negative transformation of people once they had a position of power in the IC. A number of years ago a local pastor spoke to me about a power struggle in his church. He was shocked at the way that perfectly nice people transformed into angry, vile antagonists if their perceived position of power was threatened. His experience mirrors my own. I have seen too many wonderful followers of Jesus destroyed by the allure of position and power in the IC. Give them a leadership position and they cease to follow Jesus, choosing instead to clutch to the thing that is giving them a sense of power. Over the past twenty years, I have seen more grasping for power in the IC than any other sphere of my life. Churches split over the desire for power. Relationships are destroyed in the grasping for authority.

On a personal level, not only have I observed what the "ring" does to others, I have experienced firsthand its seductive allure as well. When I started to walk with God twenty some years ago, my walk was characterized by a radical zeal for God. Gradually I lost my zeal, its fire replaced with an effort to "get ahead", to play the system. Oh I still prayed, read the Bible and did the other Christian things. However my relationship with God changed, my need for Him was based on my desire for the church to succeed.

In 2002 God invited Bev and I to relinquish our leadership position at Grace Covenant Church. At that point, my relationship with "the ring" was exposed within me. I did not know what God said about me. I had no identity beyond being a "pastor". At a weekend retreat, God broke through and spoke to me that He would rebuild the foundations of my life. True to His word, He began to work in my heart. As I allowed Him to transform me, I became increasingly aware of seductiveness of "the ring" and how I had subtly yielded to its influence.

Someone is sure to ask - Do we do away with the institutional church? Only God has that answer. I do know that if we relinquish our desire for the position and power that feeds our ego, we will become more impervious to the effects of the allure of the ring. In the Lord of the Rings, Frodo could be trusted to carry the ring because of his humility. He had no desire to use the ring for personal gain. We must be ruthless in dealing with the god of self, choosing instead to follow Jesus fully. I believe that the solution to the problem lies within each of us. How will I respond to the allure of power offered by the ring? Will I follow Jesus and take up my cross or will I clutch to my ideas, my desires, and the dictates of the self god?

natasha update

Yesterday, I encountered Natasha again. She rather nervously submitted to the whole routine of the milking process. I might have detected a slight touch of aroma of special sauce on her, but I can't say definitively that I did. Maybe my advice to her to act in a way that will allow her to stay far from the Golden Arches was taken to heart. Anyway...Natasha has sparked a good deal of conversation with you all. Natasha reminds us of ourselves, and the people around us.

One of my observations about Christians is that we create a God that we like; a paradigm with which we are comfortable. Most of us have an image of God that falls into two opposing viewpoints. (1) God is like a benevolent grandparent that smiles on us regardless of what we do, or (2) God is a distant judge with a big stick just waiting for us to step out of line so that He can punish us. Neither paradigm aligns with the revelation of God in the scriptures.

In the scripture, we find the concept of love and discipline deeply intertwined. We cannot separate the two. The book of Hebrews speaks of the discipline of God, of the purpose of the discipline, of the pain and of the benefits. One of the things that bothers me deeply is seeing Christians resisting God's discipline, choosing instead to go their own way, doing their own thing. I can say with certainty - they will never be fruitful, productive, or truly fulfilled until they submit to the hand of God. They are destined to be wanderers, aimlessly drifting through life without purpose. They will be complainers, victims, forever blaming others, never taking responsibility for their own actions.

God disciplines us for the purpose of dealing with the issues that keep us from experiencing abundant life. His love compels Him to target the things that hold us back from fulfilling His good plans for us. Yet far too frequently, we resist the parameters of the discipline, disconnecting from God in the process. I understand the difficulty of God's discipline. However it is the only path to abundant life.

Natasha has begun to submit to the protocol for a healthy productive life in the herd. Yesterday it was still obvious that she didn't really want to submit but she did. She was a bit nervous, uneasy in our interaction. Yet she never lifted a foot during the milking process. I am encouraged about her future!

natasha

Early this morning I had an encounter with Natasha. Before you get any wild ideas, Natasha is a 2 year old, mostly black, Holstein dairy cow. She is owned by a friend of mine for whom I do some work. In the life of a dairy cow, the first two years she is primarily a "taker". She eats, drinks, and lounges all day. However somewhere around 2 years of age, she transforms from being a taker to being a productive member of the herd. She has a calf and begins to produce milk. Every part of her life becomes more structured in a manner that enhances her health and productivity. Most cows make the transition to a productive life rather easily.

Natasha on the other hand, has not made the transition well. To make matters worse, she has an infection in her udder that needs attention. This morning she cooperated fairly well until I was almost done treating the infection. Suddenly she decided that she wanted to put a hoof imprint on my body. Fortunately for me, I saw it coming and jumped out of the way. Immediately she lashed out again, this time catching her foot in the stall divider. She went berserk, bellowing and hopping up and down in an effort to get her foot loose. I watch her in amusement because I knew that as soon as she quit hopping, her foot would be free. Eventually she managed to free her foot after a great deal of commotion.

Natasha is at a crossroads in her life. If she doesn't soon learn to cooperate with our effort to help her, she may very well find herself at the golden arches in a sesame seed bun right under the lettuce. On the other hand, if she quits resisting the parameters that help her become fruitful, she can expect to live a long and productive life.

As I finished up the morning milking and feeding the cows, I allowed my mind to travel back over the years. I realized that I have seen people just like Natasha. When God invited them to a place of fruitfulness they responded with joy. However, when the discipline necessary for fruitfulness began, they began to lash out. They get their foot caught, increasing their discomfort. They hop, bellow, and blame. In the end, because they never submit to the hand and ways of God, they choose the way of misery and barrenness instead of life and fruitfulness.

What is going to happen to Natasha? Whether she finds herself nestled in cheese and special sauce or whether she will find herself enjoying lush pastures and a comfortable barn will most likely be largely up to her.

dreams and impossibility

Last weekend a group of us were in New York working on the cabin. This whole project has been a series of obstacles to overcome perhaps none bigger than this past weekend. A 2X16 laminated beam, 36 feet long need to go to the very top of the structure. We had no mechanical lift to aid us. There were six of us, 4 men and 2 women. As we surveyed the task in front of us, one of our group declared that he would eat a certain natural fertilizer if we got the beam in place.

Like any obstacle needing to be overcome, a strategy needed to be devised. However the time came to take action. We attached ropes, set ladders and flexed muscles. And then it was time to begin. We got one end partially up on the interior beam. As we worked the beam higher, a series of obstacles began to confront us. The one knot began to slip. Additionally the beam lodged against an interior beam. We found ourselves in a predicament...we couldn't seem to go any higher; we certainly couldn't let it drop due to the danger of damaging both the beam and the existing house structure.

The practical fulfillment of every God-given dream will eventually put us in that kind of place. We are too far into the outworking of the dream too go back without doing damage. However, moving forward seems to be an impossibility as well.

In our predicament with the beam, we took a bit of time, secured it where it was, re-tyed the knot, and strategized some more. As we began to implement our new strategy, suddenly the beam started to move again. Slowly we inched it up and into place only to discover that we had cut the beam wrong; it was too long. Once again we had to determine a course of action. We gathered cords, a saw was taken to the top of the scaffolding and the length was corrected (after 3 attempts). We fastened the beam into place. A great deal of joy ensued. We accomplished what seemed impossible several hours before.

And so it is with the unfolding of dreams. Impossibility faces us at every turn. Obstacles stare us in the face. At the point of those obstacles, we can shrink back in fear, immobilized by the immensity of the task ahead of us. Or we can take charge of the situation, imposing God's grace and our will on the situation instead of being controlled by it.

Oh and the member of our group who promised to eat that natural fertilizer, well we chose to not hold him to his words. However, he did have to endure a great deal of good-natured banter.

Ethan

Ethan was part of our worship service on Sunday. Ethan is young, energetic, and full of life. He has also been diagnosed with autism. On Sunday, the drums fascinated him as the music played. Several times his mother caught him as he headed for the drummer and the drums. I think that probably his presence and behavior caused a bit of discomfort in those of us present.

I really don't think that the problem was Ethan. I think there is an underlying issue with Ethan in the worship service and his presence underscored the issue. You see - I want my relationship with both God and people to be neat and tidy, not messy and out of control. I subconsciously create a belief system, a theology, that is precise, in control, and measurable. I like lines and definition - this is in and this is out. I like linear - in an hour I know what I will be doing. I want to know exactly what time the service will be over and what time the race or the baseball game starts. Anything that disrupts my neat, managed, controlled relationship with either God or people causes me discomfort.

Yet when I read the gospels and the account of Jesus life, it seems as if He was (and is) anything but predictable. Not only was He unpredictable, His life was filled with interruptions and chaos. In the midst of a deep theological discussion about divorce with the religious leaders, the children interrupt. At a dinner party in the house of another religious leader, a woman of the street crashes the party. She begins to weep, her tears washing over Jesus feet. She takes her hair, drys His feet, kisses them and puts a fragrant lotion on them. On His way to heal the daughter of the leader of a local synagogue, an unclean woman pushes her way through the crowd to touch Jesus' robe for her healing. As Jesus spends time with her, word comes that it was too late. The girl He was going to heal had died.

Jesus was constantly surrounded by people whose lives were anything but neat and tidy. Blind beggars loudly cried out to be healed. Demons shrieked with terror. A desperate woman would not leave until her daughter was healed. Even His disciples were anything but neat. One was a thief, several were hotheads (the sons of thunder), one was a terrorist, and one was a traitor.

Beyond that, Jesus Himself defies a neat description. He made wine for a bunch of drunk wedding guests. He spit in a man's eyes to heal him. With another man, Jesus put His fingers in the man's ears, spit and touched his tongue. Another time Jesus makes mud with the dust and his saliva and puts the mud on a man's blind eyes.

When I compare the actions of Jesus and His relationship with people to my paradigm of a nice neat God working through nice neat people in a nice neat church, I find almost no similarities. As I have pondered Ethan and his presence in our worship service this week, I have wondered if he was not sent from God, a prophet if you will, to point out my own (and others) self made God paradigms that far from the reality of God.

finding God in the mundane

I've not disappeared or fallen off the face of the earth! The past several weeks have been very full. I've spent a good deal of time at our place in NY building our cabin. The physical labor has given me time to think about God, His work in the world today, and about our role in it.

I've had several conversations recently that stirred my thought process. I believe that we make walking with God far too impractical and ethereal. I am convinced that all of our life is spiritual, that if God is not found in the mundane details of our life, then we are missing the point.

A friend of mine told me of an acquaintance of his. This acquaintance had spent all his life waiting for God to do something big with his life. Now at the end of his life, he wonders if perhaps he missed God. A young man told me that he desires to do something significant for God. He is frustrated by his work. In his mind it limits his possibility of doing something significant. It seems unspiritual and disconnected with God.

We fall into a trap of assuming that the significant things God has for us will somehow propel us into a more spiritual realm. In our desire for spirituality we miss the work of God in the mundane ordinary events of life. We have bills to pay, children to raise, and grass to mow. We separate these things from God, compartmentalizing our life into our God life and then our mundane life.

To compartmentalize our life in this manner causes us to miss God completely simply because He will appear in the ordinary. The religious leaders of Jesus' day missed the Messiah. He appeared too un-Messiah like. He was rather ordinary, born out of wedlock, and in general did not meet their expectations of the Messiah.

In the same way today, the work of God is far more practical, far more earthy than we may want to admit. The original command for Adam was to subdue the earth. God never rescinded that command. Our responsibility remains to subdue the earth, to accomplish the work of God in making the earth fruitful. That doesn't sound very spiritual at all.

Yet it is in the mundane things that we find God. It is the work of God to raise our children, to change diapers, to go to work, and to pay our bills. I find God in my work, as I labor in building a cabin, as I relate to my children. If I separate my "God-life" from my everyday life, then I will miss the point! Find God in the mundane and you will discover life.