Where are the fathers?

For the past several years, I have been sensing a deep cry arising from the heart of people. It started rather innocuously but steadily increased in intensity and crescendo. One day while driving, I literally felt a groaning in my own spirit, a groaning that found its way to my lips. I have no way to describe it except that my spirit responded to both the heart of my Father and to the cry from deep within people, especially from young twenty-something adults.

It all started with the realization that while the Holy Spirit had done a “fathering” work in us a number of years ago, we have replaced fathering with other less intensive activities. Almost simultaneously with that realization, young adults began communicating with Bev (my wife) and me about their deep desire for fathers. (I use the term father not in a gender specific sense, but in a way that includes mothering as well). Invariably the conversation led to the burning question – who will teach us how to live? How do we do life as a follower of Christ? Who will answer our questions about marriage, about unfulfilled sexual expectations with our spouse? To whom can we turn to discover if we are parenting our toddlers in a way that releases life? Who has gone before us that can help us discover God in our own journey? How does the kingdom of God “on earth as it is in heaven” look in the twenty-first century?

While their questions would indicate that they are asking for answers, it’s not answers they seek as much as the guidance to help them make their own discovery of God, who He is, and how He relates to everyday life. What does it look like to walk with God in a practical manner? They have no hunger for another class or another program. They don’t want to attend another meeting. They want to be invited into someone’s life so they can learn.

Quite frankly, we have done a great job of giving people information but that is the extent of our involvement with them. We teach them the value of prophecy without teaching them how to raise their kids. We teach them to pray without teaching them how to deal with the difficulty and ugliness of this life. We stress the importance of meetings (Sunday morning services and Sunday school, Wednesday classes etc) without ever preparing them to face the reality of doing life with God. We teach them the importance of the supernatural but never teach them how to live in a supernatural way.

Paul addresses this very problem with the church at Corinth

15For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. 16So I ask you to follow my example and do as I do. (1 Corinthians 4:15-16)

I fear that we have been more interested in being instructors and teachers than we have in being fathers. Teachers give you information and then go home. Fathers invite you to come into their home. Teachers speak about theory; fathers speak from experience. I watched a leader continually emphasize evangelism yet he never invited anyone to “follow my example”. Why? Because there was no example to follow! Therefore this leader had no authority to bring transformational change to those to whom he spoke.

Granted, teaching is a more attractive option. There is less risk and more glamour. We can teach to thousands but we can only father only a few. We can host conferences with wonderful teachers but fathering can’t be imparted in a conference. Fathering often feels insignificant.

I hear a lot of discussion about ministry, about vision, about building the church. In the midst of these words, one thing that is sadly missing is the discussion about building the lives of people in a transformational manner. We have replaced fathering with efforts to build a great ministry. We have replaced the invitation “follow my example, do as I do” with teaching that tells people what to do. We focus on striving to be being the best or the biggest

Our teaching has become like that of the Pharisees. We teach about things we have never experienced. We read a book and decide that it would make a good teaching so we write a class, teaching about things of which we know nothing. We may mentally assent with the material but we never “own” it in our heart because we have never experienced the material we present.

Look at these words taken from Matthew 7 in the message.

These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.

“But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.”

When Jesus concluded his address, the crowd burst into applause. They had never heard teaching like this. It was apparent that he was living everything he was saying—quite a contrast to their religion teachers! This was the best teaching they had ever heard.

What was Jesus’ source of authority? He lived what He taught. His teaching flowed from His walk with the Father. Today, the word (the logos) still needs to come in flesh. True fathering authority comes when I bring the logos to life in my own life and then like Paul, invite people to follow and imitate me.

My own struggle with God will teach them how to wrestle with God. My sin and subsequent repentance will teach them how to overcome when they fall into sin. My need for grace will free them to experience God in deeper ways. God’s supernatural intervention in my situation will cause faith to grow for their life. My experience with God becomes a compass heading that helps them navigate the treachery of life.

Fathering is painfully difficult. Recently I asked Bev why I care so much when the caring causes me so much pain. It would be easier to detach myself from the struggle of life than it is to become intimately involved with the life of others. When my biological children face the pain of life, I hurt. When our daughter Heidi’s friend Chris was killed several years ago, my emotions were a wreck. Her pain became my pain, her sorrow became my sorrow, her anger became my anger, her questions became my questions.

And yet Fathering is not all about pain. The joys are deeper than one could ever imagine. Seeing the “kids” lay hold of all that God has for them causes an explosion of elation to erupt from deep within my spirit.

The million dollar question is this – what will we do with the cry of people who desire to be fathered? Will we invite them to church, to a class, to a meeting or will we simply invite them into our own walk with God (regardless of how frail that walk seems). Will we heed the yearning of their heart or will we turn aside to more important things (in our eyes) like building our ministry or church. I fear that we are often seduced by the seeming more grandiose endeavors in the kingdom of God instead of choosing the way of insignificance, the way of intentionally inviting a small group of people into our own journey with God.

For me personally, I am choosing to give my life to people. Part of the deep groaning in my spirit was a result of the realization “that the harvest is ripe and the laborers are few”. I cry out to the Father, asking Him for more fathers, for people who care little about prestige and public ministry, for people who will freely offer their life as an example of the word in flesh. I invite you to join me in fathering. Father those to whom God joins your heart. Turn aside from being teachers and instructors; embrace the noble call of fatherhood.

The joy of celebrating the season

This past week, I watched an argument develop on an Internet forum. A bunch of "Christians" were debating whether we should celebrate Christmas. A rather outspoken group of people insisted that the celebration of Christmas was not appropriate since the origins of the holiday are pagan. Furthermore, they argued, that Jesus was probably not born in December.

While it is true that the celebration of Christmas is the result of the "Christianization" of a pagan holiday and while it is true that Jesus probably was not born in December, that does not negate the value of celebrating. Jesus came to earth to transform the secular into sacred. He came to redeem the culture, not to abolish it. The fact that a pagan holiday became the celebration of the greatest work of God ever is a picture of the very work of God.

Furthermore, the fact that God was willing to come to earth, that He was willing to give His all for the possibility of humanity being restored to Him, is worthy of great celebration. If we really understood the the awesomeness of God coming to be one of us, if we really grasped the significance of His actions, we would celebrate even more heartily.

So go ahead...enjoy yourself this Christmas season. God coming to us, reaching out to us, demands celebration. Enjoy the food; enjoy the drinks; enjoy the relationships. Jesus came so that we might have abundant life, extravagant life. We would have no hope if God had not reached out to us. But He did! It is appropriate that we celebrate.

Seeing from God's perspective

And behold, there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon, and this man was just and devout, waiting for the Consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. So he came by the Spirit into the temple. And when the parents brought in the Child Jesus, to do for Him according to the custom of the law, he took Him up in his arms and blessed God and said:

“Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace,
According to Your word;
For my eyes have seen Your salvation
Which You have prepared before the face of all peoples,
A light to bring revelation to the Gentiles,
And the glory of your people Israel.”[1]

There are two ways by which we observe the world around us. We perceive either by the eyes of the natural man or we perceive through the eyes of the spiritual man illuminated by the Holy Spirit. When our spirit is united with God, we have the capability of seeing as God sees. However, from the time of our natural birth, we have learned to see with eyes of the natural man, the power of our natural eyes strengthening as we age. The strengthening of our natural eyes always occurs simultaneously to the exclusion of the spiritual eyes.

Simeon saw the world through the eyes of the spirit, enabling Him to see what almost everyone else missed the day Jesus came to the temple as a baby. The Holy Spirit revealed to Simeon that he would see the Messiah before he died. Seeing with eyes of the spirit caused Simeon to be in the temple the very moment the Messiah entered the building.

Almost everyone else in the temple that day saw a rather ordinary baby boy, a boy born to rather ordinary Jewish parents. Simeon, on the other hand, perceived with the eyes of the Spirit. Where everyone else saw a baby boy, Simeon saw the Messiah. In the midst of the day to day busyness of the temple, Simeon recognized what others missed. In the squirming bundle in his arms, He saw the divine destiny that would unite all nations to God. In the eyes of the baby, he recognized the Creator of the Universe. In the typical baby whimpers and cries, he heard the voice of the God that spoke the world into existence. Simeon did not seem to be troubled that the King of Kings appeared, not in great glory and fanfare, but in the lowest of human forms. He saw past the natural into the eternal destiny of the Child.

If we are to understand the work and ways of God, we like Simeon must see with the eyes of the spirit. It is impossible to comprehend the ways of God with the natural eyes and the natural intellect. The spiritual eyes enable us to perceive the supernatural work of God in the midst of what the natural man would define as ordinary. With our spiritual eyes we can discern the yeast of the Kingdom of God penetrating society long before the natural man will even be aware of its existence.

The natural man that perceives with natural eyes will look for a Messiah that appears in great glory, missing the power of the insignificant mustard seed placed in the soil. There is great danger in failing to see the work of God. When the natural man does not see the work of God, he attempts to create it on his own. History shows us that this work of the natural man, even though done in the name of God, always resists the true work of God.

We must, in every situation we face, continually watch for the hand of God with the eyes of the spirit. Instead of quickly jumping to conclusions based on the eyes of the natural man, we must rise to the higher view of God’s perspective as revealed in our place unity with Him in our spirit. Then we, like Simeon, are able to correctly discern the ways of God in the world today. And like Simeon, our response to God’s work will be a response of blessing and joy.
[1] Luke 2:25-32 NKJV

I'm back!!

After a month of not blogging, I am back again. Bev and I along with our 17 year old daughter Karisa spent several weeks in the Himalayan regions of India. We have several different projects ongoing in that part of the world. I was touched deeply by the heart of the Father as I was there. (It happens every time!)

We dedicated a facility that will provide a home for 32 girls. For the past year construction has been ongoing. The girls currently live in a cramped space just off the street. They will move to their new home later in December. As I watched them stream up the steps into what will be their new communal bedroom, the tears couldn't be stopped from my eyes. Their faces were so excited, smiles stretched almost ear to ear. We celebrated with music, the girls singing with gusto. We celebrated with food, great pots of rice, vegetables, and curry chicken were consumed. I watched a small girl dance spontaneously to the music.

In my own heart, I felt the heartbeat of the Father. My heart was overwhelmed that these girls would have a better home, that they have hope. And it was good! I wanted to hug, to hold each one of the girls and let them know how special they are. The heart of the Father toward them seized my heart, overwhelming me in waves of joy and love. And it was good!

God so cares about the "little people". To be part of His redemptive plan for these 32 girls was and is a privilege beyond compare.

disillusionment with church

This past week I have had several conversations with several different people that underscored a growing sentiment, a sentiment that Bev and I have been hearing for about five years. People are very disillusioned with the way we interpret and do church. Now before you disengage spiritually and intellectually with this statement, before you immediately assume that these people are somehow disgruntled church-goers who want to do things their own way, hear what I have to say.

Most of these kinds of conversations have been with people who either are or who have been in leadership in a local church, pastors, elders, people in music ministry, and deacons, etc. They are not disillusioned with God, with Jesus, or even with heart to heart transformational relationships. No these things are dear to their heart. What does deeply bother them is the lack of these things in their churches. What does deeply bother them is a sense that the system of church (the structure, the activities, the ministries) has taken precedence over both God and people. What does bother them is the lack of love for people. What does bother them is that when they begin to question the status quo, they are immediately dismissed at best and rejected and vilified at worst by those who seek to protect the church system.

A pastor wondered if it is even possible for the large church he led to be truly real and vulnerable. (He confessed that people in the church were sure that they were vulnerable but in reality were hiding behind facades.)

An elder wondered if anyone in his church would even relate to him if he wasn't an elder. Would anyone miss him if he quit attending Sunday services?

The wife of a person previously involved in music ministry expressed with sadness that when her husband was no longer "in ministry", people quit relating to her and even avoided her.

A couple that both participated in various leadership positions in church observed that they had gotten so busy in "ministry" in the church that they no longer had the time or energy to engage with people in a meaningful way.

The frequent reaction of people who seek to protect the church system is to quickly assume that something is somehow wrong with people I mentioned above. I know all of the listed people personally (and could have listed many, many more). Each person I referred to above is a follower of Jesus. They are not rebellious or trying to cause trouble. They are simply responding to what they see, the reality of their situation.

They have been to the top of the system and have discovered it to be empty. They fear that we have left the ways of following Jesus, exchanging active participation with Jesus in redeeming the world for busy church activities. They no longer have a desire to build a great ministry, a great church, or a great anything. They simply want be deeply involved in the redemptive work of God in the world, interacting with people in a way that God's transformational power is unleashed. They do not want to align with and to be identified by a specific group, ministry, or man. Rather they want to be aligned with and be identified by their participation with Jesus. On the other hand, they deeply yearn for God-centered personal relationships that will be both safe and challenging. Relationships that go beyond the "how are you? I'm fine" standard that defines many church relationships.

For the past number of years people from all types of theological persuasions have been prophesying that a new wineskin (to use Jesus' words), a new way of being church, (perhaps more accurately, a restoration of an old way being church) would emerge. We are seeing that emergence in the hearts of people.

Abundant life and the Waterfront Tavern

This past Saturday evening Bev and I enjoyed an evening together. Friends had given us a generous gift certificate to the Waterfront Tavern in Lewistown. Everything about the evening sparkled with life. The chef at the Waterfront obviously enjoys creating culinary masterpieces, blending flavors and presenting them exquisitely. The steak seemed to melt in your mouth, every bite of the crab cakes demanded another. The October Spice lager blended with the meal to perfection. We dared to try an unknown (to us) desert of rum-soaked lady fingers topped with mousse and chocolate syrup to discover it equalled the rest of the meal. We finished off our desert with steaming rich coffee enhanced with real cream.

The entire experience caused me to reflect on life, more specifically, the abundant life promised by Jesus. It seems to me that we frequently define Christianity, not by abundant life, but by the things we can't or shouldn't do. A pastor friend of mine was recently chided for having too much fun in public. Somehow we have made Christianity into a dull, sober lifestyle, mistakenly assuming that our joyless existence satisfies God.

When I began to truly follow Jesus, I discovered joy in the journey. My life is no longer defined by a set of rules but rather by abundant life. I have learned to shun the things that are not conducive to abundant life. I am learning to wholeheartedly embrace the things that bring life. Abundant life does not eliminate pain but rather it carries me through the normal pain experienced as a result of living in a sin-tainted world. Abundant life does not negate the mundane, ordinary duties of life, it causes me to rise above the place of being defined by those duties. Abundant life does not always keep me from sinning but it will keep me from living in a place of sin.

I do not believe that our experience at the Waterfront caused abundant life, it was a result of abundant life. Abundant life begins in the heart, in our place of oneness with God. As we heed the longing of our spirit to be united with Him, we discover our heart becoming alive. The "aliveness" in our heart then allows us to experience the fullness of God as expressed in our day to day world.

I believe that the writer of Proverbs understood this as he penned the following words -
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. (Proverbs 4:23). My prayer for you is that your heart is well, that you too experience the abundant life!

walking together

For those of you who wondered - I did not vanish from sight the past month! It has been a very active season in our lives. For our family, this has traditionally been our busy time of year.

Bev and I did have the opportunity this past weekend to spend time with some fellow travellers on our pursuit of God at our New York lakefront property. At one time our friends were on the road to destruction but more recently have begun the journey toward life. Our time with them refreshed us and reaffirmed the value of connecting relationally in a heart to heart manner with people.

While most people affirm the need for relationships, I am convinced that most people rarely experience deep, heart to heart relationships. I am not talking about the Sunday morning "I'm fine, how are you" kind of relationships. The relationships I am talking about result from life deeply shared. Struggles, joys, dreams, and encouragement are freely shared. Burdens are carried together, questions are explored in community. Facades are not necessary, and in fact, are discouraged. In the midst of our heart to heart relationships, God enters the dialogue, engaging in the give and take.

My hope for each of you reading this is that you will experience the love of true Christian community, not in manner that never goes beyond the surface to the heart, but in the way of Jesus and His disciples, in the way of first century church.