Bev and I were in NY for the Memorial Day weekend. We worked on our cabin project and were able to get in a bit of fishing as well. While we were there, Bev had a phone conversation with a young lady from Pennsylvania. This young lady and her husband connected with us last winter at a marriage event. They have had a good deal of marriage struggles in the past year. Unfortunately they live in another community so heart to heart connections are more difficult to build. Any face to face interaction must be scheduled.
Their story breaks our heart – it is one that is all too familiar to us. They cry out for parents. They want to know how do life together. They have questions about things like sex, how to handle conflict, and parenting issues. They live in a community that is full of churches – more traditional churches like Methodist, Lutheran, and Mennonite. Then there are the independent churches and the churches who like to be on the “cutting edge”. Yet in the midst of all these churches, this couple still misses the very thing for which they long.
Their situation mirrors so many. Young adults deeply desire to be taught – not in a class or a seminar but in the everyday grind of life. They want to learn from the experiences of a generation that has gone before. Unfortunately that older generation seems to be too busy building their own ministries or too preoccupied with their own issues. They (the older generation) seem to be more interested in relationships that will benefit them instead of giving their life to a younger generation. They invite the younger generation to come to their meetings and listen to their teaching but they almost never invite people deeply into their life experiences. They may give their lives to build a “ministry” but they won’t give their lives to build the character of Christ in people.
The prophet Malachi spoke of a curse that comes as the hearts of the fathers are hard toward the children. And so we find ourselves under a curse. The fathers are too self-absorbed to give themselves to their children. The children suffer as a result. Bev and are frequently overwhelmed by the cry of the children – won’t someone teach us? Won’t someone help us? They don’t want a formula; they want interaction. They don’t want a class once a week; they want someone with which to walk.
I dream of a day when the hearts of the fathers reflect the heart of the Father. I dream of a day when fathers will give themselves for the good of the children. I pray for the spirit of Elijah to overtake us, driving the curse from our land.
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2 comments:
This one hits me right where I am. I have a friend who comes from a divorced family, but they are still a tight nit family. Her mom is her best friend, her dad is her source of strength, and her siblings rally at her side. Faced with any struggle, she falls back on them. My family is not close emotionally or geographically, and I have no true "fathers" in my life. Faced with the same struggles my friend faces, I react with insecurity, fear, and sometimes desparation. True we have our "heavenly Father" but sometimes we orphans need a "Jesus with skin on." I agree. Where are the fathers?
I was an orphan for a lot of my life. I had good parents (even though it seemed as if they didn't understand me at times). A lot of my orphan issues had to do with me. Many of my issues were a result of the way that I responded to my dad. Fortunately for me, in 2002 God worked a major healing in my life.
Still, I can count on one hand the number of people who deeply invested in my life, people who believed in me. Without a doubt I am wired a bit differant than a lot of people. For years I condemned myself for being different. I deeply desired someone to affirm me, to call me out.
Fortunately in the past 7 years, I have discovered the affirmation of the Father. I believe that has allowed me to be a father as well. My greatest joy is investing in young people, discovering God's plan for them and then calling it out. The unfortunate fact is that it is impossible to truly "father" a large number of people at one time.
All I can say to you is "I'm sorry". I'm sorry that the fathers are non-existant. However, be careful as well that you do not become a victim. I will encourage you to give others what no one has given you. In other words - be part of the spirit of Elijah that God promised.
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